What did I tell you?

Ta dah! We now have a sitter for Thursday, two sitters for Friday and the first three weeks of June covered. See? No worries! How cool is that?!

Cannot believe tomorrow is already the end of school... The girls are getting old, which means I am getting old. This is another topic for another day, don't get me started right now.

Peace.

Fear, Part II

What I should be concerned with... (I won't say worried about)

• Who is going to watch my girls in 2 days when they get out of school and the week after that and the other four or five weeks I don't have covered this summer

Sometimes I think my "everything will be okay" philosophy is misplaced. I think it is part of my tendency to procrastinate more than some super-spiritualness I possess. Maybe I should be "worrying" about what I figure will work itself out and letting go what I am worrying about. But I would rather not worry about it or deal with it, so I put it off. I also know it is going to work out and, to be honest, I really am too preoccupied being concerned with other things to add one more worry to my list. So I just don't deal with it. For example, I figure I will deal with the girls going to big, scary Pike High School closer to when we get there. Why start worrying now? First of all, what good will it do; secondly, I don't even want to think about it even if worrying could accomplish anything.

So here I am, 2 days from the end of school, with no clue where my girls will be staying in 2 days. But it will work out. It always does. Just like everything else in our lives, God displays and unending faithfulness that we are so undeserving of - we may struggle, and rightly so - but we have yet to go flying off the end of the cliff. He is so good - it should not amaze me, but it does because I am so undeserving. Woo hoo and yeah God!

Fear

What are you afraid of? Today's sermon was on fear, which is always a timely message. I thought it was extremely cool that 365 times the Bible says "Fear not" - one for every day. How cool is that? I thought I would try to list what I am afraid of to see if that would help let some of it go. I think, except for my kids, I don't worry about the big things, it is the medium and small things that get me. Here is what I can think of right now. Hopefully this list will not be long.

I'm afraid...

• that I will die and my mom will discover just how in debt I am
• that my girls memory of me from their childhood will be solely of me laying in bed with a headache
• of planning activities because when the time comes I might have a headache and not feel like going and will either have to wimp out and cancel or force my way through it
• of making enemies
• of something bad happening to one of my girls (especially some tragic accident that is my fault)
• that I will be one of those people you see on 60 Minutes - doing any thing I should have known not to do - hence I am afraid to step out on a limb or do anything that could be secretly video taped
• that I am flunking this whole "mom" thing (and don't get me started on wife, homemaker, etc)
• to kill bugs because their friends/family might seek revenge on me - seriously, although I have gotten better since becoming a parent and I have my own peeps to defend (I just tell the bug really loudly "God gave me dominion over you!" - because if you watch kids movies, you know that all bugs speak English (sometimes with funny accents))
• that I will never be polished or professional enough to really succeed at work or be taken seriously
• that I will never find my true gift and feel like I am serving God exactly as He designed me to (I know I was born to sing and dance, but I am not a dancer or a singer, which is fine for my Audience of One, but what about the rest of the time?)
• of people judging me and of what people think of me
• that I will not be a good advocate for my kids, especially Kaylie as she learns how her special self harmonizes with this crazy world
• that I will not adequately do my part in discipling my children and raising them to weigh everything they hear/read/see against what they know to be TRUTH

Not necessarily all in tune with the theme, true, but what comes to my mind when I think of what I am afraid of. And all probably stuff I need to turn to God about in one way or the other.

For now, this is all I have to say about this. But in 5 minutes, I am sure I will think of something else.

Me, too!

In all fairness, here is Kaylie's thought for the day, too...

I have to say that I am doing good today. I'm going to tikle war with my mom tomorro.

Hear is a little video for you.

Here is what Hannah has to say today...

Hannah has something to lay down, so here it is...

I am not Hannah Montana, just so you know. I love my mommasita very much. (Kaylie is crazier than me!!!!!) Maybe I'll update this each day. Hey mom, can I do that?
-Hannah F.

Hillary

So it has been about 20 minutes and I can't hold back any longer. I have to officially express my Hillary frustration. When I was in college, I did my senior J-term paper on the then First Lady because I was intrigued by this powerful woman. I didn't really like her - it just really intrigued me this sense of purpose she had. Who knew then that she would later be so close to the White House? Actually, she probably had intentions many, many moons ago, it is the rest of us who were a little slow on the uptake. But now she is just wicked annoying and what respect I may have had is now total annoyance.
I just wish she or her peeps would stop crying foul over the woman thing. It is not making her nor us look good as a gender. To whine that people are treating her differently because she is female is to feed the fire of those who would do just that. She is not helping her cause. (Not that I am a Hillary fan and dying to see her elected)
And she should stop being so stubborn. Not good. Who wants such a stubborn person for President? Grr.
Why do I care when I don't even care for her nor want her to win? Don't know. Just annoys me.

I am totally digging this voicing my frustrations thing.

My first post!

Yee hah! Here I am in blog -world! Yay, me. I am probably the only one who will ever look at this, but hey, it will keep me happy if nothing else and give me some place to vent. So, if you are actually reading this - muchas gracias and party on to you! Off we go!