Fear

What are you afraid of? Today's sermon was on fear, which is always a timely message. I thought it was extremely cool that 365 times the Bible says "Fear not" - one for every day. How cool is that? I thought I would try to list what I am afraid of to see if that would help let some of it go. I think, except for my kids, I don't worry about the big things, it is the medium and small things that get me. Here is what I can think of right now. Hopefully this list will not be long.

I'm afraid...

• that I will die and my mom will discover just how in debt I am
• that my girls memory of me from their childhood will be solely of me laying in bed with a headache
• of planning activities because when the time comes I might have a headache and not feel like going and will either have to wimp out and cancel or force my way through it
• of making enemies
• of something bad happening to one of my girls (especially some tragic accident that is my fault)
• that I will be one of those people you see on 60 Minutes - doing any thing I should have known not to do - hence I am afraid to step out on a limb or do anything that could be secretly video taped
• that I am flunking this whole "mom" thing (and don't get me started on wife, homemaker, etc)
• to kill bugs because their friends/family might seek revenge on me - seriously, although I have gotten better since becoming a parent and I have my own peeps to defend (I just tell the bug really loudly "God gave me dominion over you!" - because if you watch kids movies, you know that all bugs speak English (sometimes with funny accents))
• that I will never be polished or professional enough to really succeed at work or be taken seriously
• that I will never find my true gift and feel like I am serving God exactly as He designed me to (I know I was born to sing and dance, but I am not a dancer or a singer, which is fine for my Audience of One, but what about the rest of the time?)
• of people judging me and of what people think of me
• that I will not be a good advocate for my kids, especially Kaylie as she learns how her special self harmonizes with this crazy world
• that I will not adequately do my part in discipling my children and raising them to weigh everything they hear/read/see against what they know to be TRUTH

Not necessarily all in tune with the theme, true, but what comes to my mind when I think of what I am afraid of. And all probably stuff I need to turn to God about in one way or the other.

For now, this is all I have to say about this. But in 5 minutes, I am sure I will think of something else.